And they waste time arguing about jargon...

One of the most gifted clinicians I know sent me a link to a forum for licensed family therapists who were arguing about labels and whether something (specifically in this case MMO gaming) can be considered an "addiction." She added her own thoughts:

I get annoyed when therapists aren’t able/willing to look (and validate; take seriously) at the needs being met (and unmet) through gaming. Instead there is a judgement that it is just a problem of time management or problem of setting one’s priorities straight...especially when it comes to couples in conflict over gaming. I think that therapists need to look at all the really good reasons why someone may be spending 12 hours+ a day on gaming ....before looking at trying to support a change.

Amen.

And I don't care what you call it. If you can't stop yourself from playing when you know it's harming your life, when you are no longer functioning in important areas like school, job, and spending time with loved ones, if you crave it when you aren't engaged in it and dream of it vividly during your sleep (if you stop playing long enough to sleep) it's a problem.

If you're a mental health clinician it's your responsibility to understand the process and when asked, come up with an effective plan to help people.

All it cost you was your family

From a friend's blog:

I'm done.. i'm tired of doing everything. I'm tired of the half assed attempts at placating. I'm tired of hearing from my daughter how she has to beg for attention.

She told me she made a deal with dad. He could have 15 more minutes of quiet if he would come play with her outside. He went with her but as soon as I pull in the driveway, he ran back inside.

The part that hurts the most is that he values a video game and some strangers on the net more than his daughter or myself. Congrats! You're a rock star in the wow world, the only 70 character of your kind, and all it cost you was your family!

For my friend William - back in Wow

Autobiography in Five Short Chapters

\(this one's been around for a long time now but I think you'll appreciate it)

by Portia Nelson

Chapter One:

I walk down the street

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.

I fall in.

I am lost...I am hopeless.

It isn't my fault.

It takes forever to find a way out.

Chapter Two:

I walk down the same street.

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.

I pretend I don't see it and fall in again.

I can't believe I am in the same place.

But it isn't my fault.

It still takes a long time to get out.

Chapter Three:

I walk down the same street.

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.

I see it is there.

I still fall in...it's a habit.

My eyes are open, I know where I am.

It is my responsibility.

I get out immediately.

Chapter Four:

I walk down the same street.

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.

I walk around it.

Chapter Five:

I walk down another street.

Trainings for Mental Health Clinicians Offered

A vast cultural gap exists between the average mental health therapist and the average gamer. This problem is highlighted when an individual who needs help for problems related to gameplay can't find a professional who knows the difference between an MMO and Anime (I actually heard this recently from a colleague).

By and large, therapists don't get it. At a recent conference where I presented on the topic I found many were concerned with trying to understand gamers in their own families as well as their clients yet ignorant about the process. How do you differentiate healthy gaming from addictive or problematic gaming? What do you do when your partner, your child, your friend seems to play excessively?

We all need to develop awareness and skills in dealing with this issue, particularly mental health therapists. I will be continuing to offer interactive multimedia seminars over the next 12 months for professional training on this topic.